Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Why does it always rain on me?

Today I woke up around 7am, already intent on the fact that I did not want to, nor was going to, go to work. So I messaged my excuse and that was that. I preceeded to sleep in until 12, made some honey on toast and crashed back into bed to watch tv series on my laptop. I continued to pick at food I didn't actually want, smoke ciggarette I didn't actually need and watch pointless tv to pass the time - and that was my day. I got a message from my boss saying he has hired someone new aka I'd become redundant, I got a message from my other boss saying he'd see me at work tomorrow - and having already lost one job, I didn't know how I was going to go about quitting the other - as it's just not working out.

So, I've almost made a full circle, and it seems I'm back to the beginning. No job, back into old habits, and 2 weeks for something amazing to pop up, or my parents are making me move back home. And I really don't want to leave Sydney!!

While on Seek tonight, trying to apply for any which job I came across, I found my ideal job at a magazine megastore opening on King St in Newtown. I want this job soooo bad. And so I really hope I get it. Check out the website, I swear, it's my heaven. Anything that can combine magazines and stationary, only my two fave things, has to be good. www.magnation.com/index.php

So that's where I am. I sat on the balcony for ages this afternoon, blowing through the last of my ciggarettes and thinking to myself, when, if ever, does life become easy? I don't mean to say I have it hard over other people, because I completely understand I don't. You only need to turn on a television or open a newspaper to realise that, but on a comparative scale, not comparing, how can you enjoy life when you are constantly stressed, lost, confused, and have no idea where you are - let alone where you want to be? I want so much for everything to work out, and yet I don't know how I can manage that.

When it rains, it pours..

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