Tweet tweet.

I have never had the urge to write the minute to minute goings on of my life, until I found twitter.

I don’t know what the fascination is with writing about what you’re doing. Maybe it’s that you have an audience; that someone out there thinks what you are doing is interesting enough to follow. Maybe it’s just that you now have the excuse to excessively write about yourself and it’s okay cos everybody’s doing it.

Either way, enjoying it.

Realisations realised a little too late

realisation
noun
1. coming to understand something clearly and distinctly
2. making real or giving the appearance of reality
3. something that is made real or concrete


* Thanks, dictionary.com


Sometimes realisation is a great thing. When something hits you, BAM, and suddenly the pieces come together; something makes sense to you. I swear there is even a facial expression that goes hand in hand, the “Ohhh” or a nod, or in my case normally a furrowed brow, followed by a laugh, because I normally miss the point on many occasions.

Then there is another type of realisation. This realisation dawns quickly, the same as above, but doesn’t have that same “oh, silly me” feeling accompanying it. “Oh silly me, they said this but meant that” sort of feeling.I remember in Year 12, in Extension English we had to do a 10 minute presentation on a text of our choosing. I did Othello. So I always tried to work really hard in that class. My teacher didn’t like me very much and never thought I could live up to my “potential”. So I slaved away at this presentation for weeks, and finally came to day to lay it all out. Unfortunetly for me, as I started reading, a horrible feeling dawned over me. The feeling of realisation. That I had completely missed the point of the question I was meant to be answering. Sure, I had a great speech, with some great points, good use of technical language, and a thorough knowlege of the text, but somehow I had missed the big picture, become too involved in what I was trying to do and failed to do what I was meant to. I remember pausing, and sighing, and thinking “It’s probably not worth going on”, about 3 minutes into the speech.

3 minutes isn’t a very long time, it’s not the quick and witty SNAP of realisation, when someone is watching you to ‘get’ something that may have been said, this one was a little more internal, felt in the pit of my stomach.Yesterday I had a similar realisation, that although I had felt it in my stomach for a while, it finally hit home today.It took me nearly 3 months for the realisation to hit that I have completely screwed my first semester of uni.

So I took a year off last year, after having completed the HSC, to work. That meant, for me, doing noththing more than bagging groceries for a year, and letting my mind wander around in the process. Lassoing it back in, and trying to train it back into study mode has been near impossible. I have a short attention span, I’m a procrastinator, I’m lazy, and I have a million reasons why something can’t work, instead of finding a way to make it work. I’d missed more than half my lectures and tutorials due to being sick, for the majority of my subjects, and was feeling apathetic to say the least towards my degree. I was so far behind, I was finding it impossible to catch up whilst simultaneously trying to keep up.

But today, while completing a media proposal that was actually due 10 days ago (and I found this out, 10 days ago) I had a really great realisation. I realised I actually liked what I was doing. I caught up on a few more lectures I needed for the proposal, and as I summarised my notes, I realised I knew what I was talking about. Suddenly, I felt a bit better. Suddenly, I realised that this is the way it could have been, from day one, point A.

Realisations realised, too little too late.

Thanks Kevin.

So, I'm sitting at my computer, with my vodka and orange juice and days worth of shopping bags, proudly surrounding me. No thanks to Kevin Rudd. As from today, electronically the stimulus packages (in my case $950) were beginning to filter into people's accounts, in the hope of "boosting the economy" - financial crisis and all. I'm happy to say I've done some of my part for the economy, having had a very nice afternoon out spending my (yet to be received) bonus.

I'm also rather chuffed as it's the first time in ages that I haven't felt guilty after a shopping spree. Maybe it's because I think I'm spending someone elses money. I guess in a way I am. Money I'd not otherwise have and what not.

Downside? I still haven't completed my assessment that was due yesterday (I've already said bye bye to 2 marks). I have a 500 word paper for Athropology&Sociology due Thursday, as well as a 1000 word close reading assessment for English on, my favourite, poetry. Fantastic .
Maybe I'll work better after having had a few drinks. At the moment I couldn't bear to start opening books and writing. Can you ever be in the right mood to do something you don't want to do? I guess not.

I also figure I better catch up on my 4 weeks worth of blogging for Media. I swear univerisity hasn't really taken off the way I thought it would. I am so far behind. I've missed the greater majority of my lectures and tutorials due to being sick, and do not have enough hours in the day let alone the week to catch up let alone continue trying to keep up.

Fighting a loosing battle. I'm sure that's the expression.

Another Friday Night

So, as the title suggests it's just another Friday night. In, that is. I've ditched the straighter, manic outfit finding madness and my mandatory pre-drink bottle of vodka for a few quiet ones and some underbelly at 'home'.

So, Sydney Updates. All is going well! I'm settling in, attempting to keep on top of my uni work and liking having something to do with myself, even if it is perversely difficult. Emma's house mate are having a huge street party, flyers and all, tomorrow night so heading in to Newtown to help her out with getting ready early tomorrow night. I'm a little worried because it may get pretty big, and lots of people are invited, but if all goes to 'plan' it'll be an awesome night for drinking, friends, new people and Bon's bf's Newtown dj'ing debut. Madness to ensue I'm sure!

Anyway I'm not really oin the mood for blogging tonight don't know why I bothered when i don't have much to say but anywho, thats it

sydney, I love you.

So, it's been two weeks since I moved to Sydney and I'm loving it.
I got on college, and it's insane. I think I've drank almost every night for 2 weeks, can't be doing anything good but it's all good fun.
My lectures started yesterday but I didn't go. I know, I'm lazy. But I was acutally sick.
I've caught up already anyhow, and it was good cos I had today off. So went and visited em in newtown, had lunch at sydney uni, met her boyfriend Marty whos fantastic and then went down to coogee to lay on the beach. It was a really top day.
Now I'm attempting to get ready for my "date" with a guy I met at sneakers last friday.
We ended up leaving there are 5am and heading to coogee and watching the sun rise. It was really nice. I'm surprised I followed anything up, and that I'm actually looking forward to this rather than making excuses why I cant meet up. which is what I normally do. So this is something completely new and out of the box for me so hopefully all goes well. I'm having a drink so calm my 'not' nerves so should be okay haha.
So, commencement dinner and to the cross on wednesday, start of session party at uni bar thursday, sneakers friday and the weekend to recover, I swear, sydney is the city that never sleeps.
Loving it.

Quickly, quickly

So as the title suggests, this is going to be a quick post as I have a little under 15 minutes to brush my teeth, get my stuff together and walk down to work.

So I got on campus. It's good to have somewhere to live but I'm not so happy about the arragements. And the fact that I'm not considered independant for another 3 months, despite earning over $25,000 in the required period. Centrelink do not make it easy. So, I need to work out a payment plan with my college as I'll be getting about $60 a week/fortnight as a depedendant. Considering my rent is $350, they needent bother, it hardly makes a dent. So, woeful money issues are weighing my 2 day countown till I move to Sydney.

Em moves tomorrow. Not to sure what craziness the weekend holds, with us all finally being down, but we'll see.

Ok, so I really am late now so that's all.

Meet and Greet with an Arctic Monkey

So last weekend was one looong weekend.

Thursday me and Bon drove back to Sydney after breaky at Ellies with Em.
Got to Sydney, Bon had her doctors appointment, went to Eastgarden's fgor a spot of shopping, did a drive by of the liquor land and headed home to load up for the Arctic Monkeys after party.
So drank copious amounts of alcohol, got completely trashed then found myself at fringe bar. After some dancing, on my part, that should be outlawed, i found myself outside having a smoke break and chatting to those outside doing the same.

So across the way I spot this spunky looking guy in a leather jaket and decide yesss i am going to talk to you, so i walk up and in my way is this very large tall man. so i start chatting to him innocently enough and ask if hes a bouncer here, because he looks like it, but hes like no. i gently push my way past to get to my destination. delicious man in leather jacket.
so we start chatting, i dont know what about, but i remember being so drunk i could hardly focus on his face, but i heard this lovely english accent so i ask him where hes from and he tells me brazil. i didnt register that it didnt make sense but i continued none-the-less, saying i knew a guy staying in sydney from brazil. he politely asked me the guys name and i was like ivan, and hes like, oh i know him!. i was like OMG are u serious! and thought it was the best thing out. after a laugh, me at 'oh what a small world' and him at me, he says he has to head back inside, so i farewell him and his large friend, who i later find out was a body guard, and there you go, i had a facinationg story to tell people the next night after bdo. the night i met an arctic monkey.

So we get back to bons, im being loud and unmanegable, and end up passing out on bons bed, and axel wakes me up at 7;30, so to the balcony for a smoke, to the kitchen to heat up the reminents of last nights 5am trip to maccas and the day has begun.
Buy bottle of gin. Pour said bottle of gin into hip flask and hide in the very convenient gutsquashers. At BDo by lunch time and its sooo hot! Head to lillyworld to chill for a bit, then to ting tings but WAY ridiculuosly packed so head back to the grass to sit. new produce stage and watch a few bands there, as well as lupe fiasco, ajax, arctic monkeys prodigy, purple sneakers djs, other assortment of djs. good day. despite the fact that i was heniously hungover, and i know bon was a little anoyed at me cos i didnt talk much, and no matter how much i drank, and the fact that we sculled a hip flask of gin, i couldnt reach my high. but prodgiy went off, ive never dnaced so hard it was AMAZING.

headed to purple sneakers for afterparty and ben lucids bday, mostly hung out upstairs, then ventured down to the outside area where i met santa and his little helpers. lol not really, but the guy was named santa. and he was with his friends. talked to this guy matt id met on nye and at sneakers the following night, had a decent chat. jimmy ignored me so i ingored him lol saw him hooking up with a heniously ugly chick, good for you man! haha.

and to wrap it up, i arrived at central station the following day at 3.30pm for my train, and due to trackworks didnt arrive home until 9:45.
needless to say, over 6 hours of waiting, buses and trains, i was VERY happy to get home.

AND that, my friends, was my epic weekend.

D-Day

So, I find out tomorrow if I was successful in my application for on campus accommodation.
If unsuccessful, it's back to the drawing board, I don't really know what I'll do. Scroll through the never ending lists of house sharing I guess. God it's tiring. And my last attempt to find a house mate, well, that didn't turn out so good, and i very nearly locked myself into a situation I would have been very unhappy and uncomfortable in. I suppose I need to get out of my comfort zone sooner or later, but the prospect of living in such close proximity to strangers unnerves me. Particularly after my last encounter.

So BDO is on this friday and wooooowwwwooooowwwww it's gunna be awesomeee!
Bon has a pretty wicked plan for our weekend so I hear, which is good as.
Ahh I can't be bothered to write anymore, I'm not really in the mood, I have to get ready for work and my stomach is screaming 'feed me' so, I guess thasts my cue to leave.

Are we human?

I now own Twilight. I'm not so sure if this is a good thing, considering I've already watched it twice (in a row) tonight. It's not like it's that good of a movie but it gives me a little break from reading the books.

I've been listening to alot of The Dears and loving it.
Not loving, however, being back at work! BUT I guess comforting is the thought that I have about 5 or so weeks left until I can resgin! Yahoo. Oh yeah.

BDO is next weekend YEAHH and the countdown begins. Ready to witness the prodigy already.

Bring on the '09

Wow so it's 2009. Another year has passed and the year I have so keenly anticipated is finally here. To be honest it's a bit of a let down. Nothing in particular has changed, I'm still plodding along through the first days of the year and it's sort of like the first day of school, for the next month. Settling into a rhythm, of how you want to begin your year, organising a hell of a lot for university, pondering my resignation from a place I've been at for 3 years, trying to figure out just where the hell I'm living considering I need to have a place by the end of next month and the fact that I haven't saved a cent for about 4 months, it's a bit unnerving. No one said it would be easy, I just assumed I'd have all the time in the world to figure it out and sadly I don't.
So there's my winge for the beginning of 2009.

On the other hand, I've been constantly drunk the whole year (every..hmm...3 days of it lol) I've been shopping, to the beach, wached movies, had quality gal pal bonding time, helped to organise and hold a house party, been out on the town, twice, and tomorrow night am seeing The Kooks. That doesn't sound so bad at all does it.
So just how was my New Years? It was good. No big bang to welcome the new year and maybe my expectations we're a little high, but I had fun nonetheless.

Then I thought a bit about new years resolutions. Obviously I'm a bit late, but I've never been one to run with convention, so I'm making them now (better late than never right?)
I like simplicity so I'm keeping it simple:
1. Find a job
2. Keep said job.
3. Intergate successfully into uni
4. Put in needed effort for my course and NOT SLACK OFF oh I am a slacker
5. Nothing will stop my overseas trip in July. NOTHING. Put it off once, won't again.
6. Even if things don't work out, do what I need to do to be happy.

I can't think of anything worse than being unhappy in a situation you totally have control of, let alone one you don't. It's easy, remove yourself from that environment. Only you can ensure your own happiness, SO even if uni isn't for me, I'll do what I can to find an alternative I'm happy with. This is my biggest worry yet, that uni isn't for me but I haven't realised it yet.

Anyway first blog of the new year. And there'll be many more I'm sure.